Why Do I Bother?

So,  yesterday I was summoned to a meeting at the place I do my Ph D, ostensibly to be told all about a reshuffle of the  accommodation. Times being what they are, they're having to squeeze a quart into a pint pot, which means Reception, the tea room and two Ph D students all sharing one space, and if I ever actually went into there to work I'd be a bit dismayed because that is going to be one noisy space. As I don't, it really doesn't matter to me, and I was slightly miffed that I had got up at the crack of dawn to sort out the cats and myself in time to catch the eight o clock bus: because in their wisdom the one hour in the morning the local bus company don't provide a service into town from where I live is the hour when almost everyone would want it, ie nine o'clock. The meeting was at 10, so I had to get to town at 8.30 and kill time. When I made a joking reference to making the ultimate sacrifice and getting up so early  I was sniped at because there had been an option of having the meeting at one, which I had said I couldn't make, again  because I had an appointment at home at 2.30 and the buses just wouldn't work for that. So obviously it was All My Fault and it was therefore inappropriate of me to suggest, even jokingly, that getting up much earlier than normal was in any way down to anyone but me.

 

The real reason for the meeting was smuggled in to general chat after the tour of the new accommodation was complete, presumably in an attempt to disguise that it was the real reason. Since I am totally disinterested in office/academic politics and have expressed this fact more times than I care to remember I was no more chuffed at being hauled in for this than for the accommodation tour really.

 

But the thing that really really upset me was being accused by my Director of Studies of 'haranguing' my supervisors at our last supervisory panel meeting. I have not regaled the blog with  various recent tales of woe concerning my Ph D, because a) they will pass  b) they aren't really all that exciting or meaningful to anyone else and c)  who knows who might be reading.  Everyone knows that no Ph D goes completely smoothly and I really have to be very exercised to mention it al all. Like I was  here for example. Names were not mentioned at the time to protect the guilty, but that was the last meeting I had with my subject supervisor. Who I might say appears blithely and supremely oblivious to what he did.

 

Anyway I thought our latest full panel meeting went really well, I was pleasantly pro-active, unlike my usual fairly silent self at these things and nothing was said at the time. In fact I rather thought that my Director of Studies was also of the opinion that things had gone well. So I was a bit taken aback by her mentioning it yesterday in such negative terms. However if asking pleasantly for the feedback from my supervisors to which after all I am perfectly entitled , is 'haranguing'  them, then yes, guilty as charged.

 

Maybe next time I should Wear A Gag.

 

And breathe. Coming later  - more socks. And more sunroom.