The Cat Lorenzo

This is The Cat Lorenzo. His former owners knew him as Bobby, which I feel may have contributed to his apparent desire to categorise them as 'former', because a cat this magnificent should have a much more imposing moniker than Bobby. Obviously. We tried out various names when he came to us and eventually settled on Lorenzo. After Lorenzo (de Medici) the Magnificent, Duke of Florence. He seems to like it.

He came to us on a dark and stormy night, wailing piteously just by the back door, presumably failing to see the cat flap....magnificent yes, clever - well, not so much. We are far too soft hearted to have left him out there so we took him in and fed him. Judging by the amount he put away he'd been wandering about without food for some time. Our other cats were less than chuffed to see this intruder in their midst, but over the next few days they came to some sort of rough arrangement, on the 'you don't bother us, we won't bother you' principle.

We told ourselves not to get too fond of him because, apart from being starving when he first came in, he was in good nick and must therefore belong to someone who took care of him and who must be missing him. After a couple of days we put up a poster in the local shop and mentally gave ourselves a fortnight. If no-one claimed him after a fortnight we would keep him with a clear conscience. The days ticked by and lovely affectionate big beautiful Lorenzo became more and more a part of the family. It was only a matter of time we told ourselves and then we could relax and think of him as ours.

And then the bombshell. OH went along to the local shop after about ten days and the lovely shopkeeper Victoria (and I say that despite the fact that she was less than complimentary about my carrot cake topping a few months ago) said someone had recognised the cat from our poster. Sure enough we got a phone call, followed up by a visit and Bobby/Lorenzo was bundled into a car and taken home. Two days later he was back. Now knowing from whence he came we picked up the phone. He was collected again and we were assured that great efforts would be made to keep him indoors so that he got used to being at 'home' again. There would be barred doors. There  would be rooms with food and cat litter trays. There would be a general dearth of opportunity, and indeed need, for him to leave. Forty minutes after the car carrying him 'home' disappeared down the drive, Lorenzo appeared casually  strolling back up it. This time we didn't bother with the phone. They knew where he would be if they wanted to try and take him back...that was nearly two years ago now. I guess he's here to stay.

I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes he has a penchant for wrapping dead voles up in grass and depositing them at our feet. Yes he has been known to bring in the odd live baby bunny. And more annoyingly yes he does bring in live mice and then drop them, allowing them to escape and necessitating regular Mice Hunts round the house and the deployment of various Heath Robinson type mouse catchers made of bin bags, the tubes from inside rolls of kitchen paper and Lego Star Wars  boxes. And he turns up his nose at milk, preferring cream, and eats mainly Tesco Chunky Chicken which so far as I am aware is packaged with the human consumer in mind. And he goes out when it rains so that when he comes back in he needs to be dried and 15 minutes after you've dried him he goes back out so you have to do it all over again. But he's a soft warm snuggly affectionate and purry thing, and really, what more do you want in a cat?