Rather a surprising title, and not something I ever thought I would write, but there you go.
For context you might like to scroll down all the way to - oh, look, my previous post! - and (re) acquaint yourself with the paragraph that describes our visit to the recent Scottish Opera Study Day.
I don't know what your reaction to that was. Maybe it was 'oh my days, she's banging on about opera again'. Maybe it was 'that seems a bit lukewarm compared to how she usually writes about SO, but there again she did say she wasn't feeling too well and that that might have jaundiced her view about it'. Maybe it was something totally different. Whatever it was, I would bet the farm that it wasn't 'Oh my word, that blog post is going to bring the wrath of Scottish Opera right down on her unsuspecting little head'.
But it did.
On the second of my precious three days in Florence I had a very upsetting e-mail from someone in the fundraising department of Scottish Opera. So upsetting that it ruined our morning and hung over the rest of the trip like a bad smell. And it was all about that blog post.
I'm not going to reproduce it in full, but it began like this.
Our Press Manager
sent me your recent blogpost with the review of our Study Day, which was picked
up in our daily Press Cuttings
and the rest of it was basically a thinly disguised 'request' not to write negative stuff about the company on my blog.
A couple of things occurred to me when I had calmed down sufficiently to think about this. The first was, why on earth is Scottish Opera including one of my blog posts in a collection of Press Cuttings? What do they think they are dealing with here? I'm not the weekend culture section of a national newspaper. This isn't Tik-Tok. This is a small blog, with a readership that is numbered in the tens. I mean, now that I've looked I can literally count on the fingers of one hand the number of posts that have reached 100 views in the last six months, and I was astonished that any were that high. Many of the people who read this are personal friends. Most of the rest have come via my Ravelry profile where this is linked and are only here for the knitting. My numbers are so small I don't even look at them, unless provoked, like now.
The second thing that occurred to me was this. How come none of my previous posts about Scottish Opera, which are overwhelmingly positive and enthusiastic, have ever been brought to the attention of the Press Manager resulting in an e-mail from the fundraising department thanking me for being so positive and spreading the word about how wonderful the company is. Because you know, sauce for goose, sauce for gander. No-one, and I mean no-one, could read my blog regularly without becoming aware of how much joy and delight we have taken in our relationship with Scottish Opera, both on and off the stage, which has been built up over the past decade or so.
As I say I'm not going to reproduce the whole e-mail but it left me very shaken and angry. As the current phrase goes, I felt seen. Only not in a good way. I felt not so much seen as monitored. And I felt I was being asked to self censor. Which is many things, chief amongst them, inappropriate.
I can't write honestly about this sort of thing if I feel that someone is going to be reading it and judging it and possibly following it up with another critical response. I don't want to be writing reviews of things we've seen if I feel that I have to be looking over my shoulder all the time worrying about how someone else is going to react, and tempering my written opinion accordingly. This is my space where I express my personal opinions and quite honestly I'm amazed that any big organisation would give a tinkers cuss about them, let alone try to meddle.
I won't be giving up going to the opera. But I am giving up on writing about going to Scottish Opera.
As Yoda might say 'Themselves in foot shot they have'.