Dark Days

 

It was my uncle's funeral on Tuesday. I was dreading it, and I was right to. It was upsetting. 

I had lots of aunts and uncles growing up; my father came from a family of five and my mother from one of seven. Sone of these relations we saw only rarely, but many we saw on a regular (weekly) basis. Over the years, every time one of them died it felt like a little bit of the foundation of my life was being chipped away, and this was especially the case perhaps with John and his wife who were close to my mother in age, experienced some of life's milestones at a similar time ( marriage, birth of children, temporary male redundancy necessitating a move away from the place of their upbringing). And as I've said before they both loved music which was a big  thing we had in common.

Given that I knew I was going to be distressed it was unfortunate that I heard the morning before that I had also lost a good friend. Her name was Heather, and regular visitors here will have noticed that she commented regularly on my posts. She didn't always say much but enough to let me know she had read my posts and reacted. The sad irony that her last post here was an expression of sympathy on the loss of John has not gone unnoticed by me. 

Heather died last Saturday morning after a prolonged stay in hospital; several months bar a brief and disastrous return home; she was discharged  too early and as a result suffered a bad fall which sent her back to hospital. She had lived for many years not only with CFS but also COPD  which greatly restricted what she could do physically but she was always positive,and found many ways to express her creativity and concern for others. I was proud to be her friend and although, as she lived in the north of England, we met very rarely, we always enjoyed a long talk and a good laugh. In the acknowledgements section of my Ph D thesis, she appears as Heather,' who has a gift for inspiration and encouragement', and she did. To which I would now add for friendship also. I will miss her. 

I've had better Mays.